Attempt Eight

LAST MEAL: Pork burgers, mash, runner beans and onion gravy.

SUPPLEMENTARY TRAINING: Organising DVDs into colour order, which is the correct way to store DVDs.

METHOD OF FOCUS: Wearing shoes that were slightly too small for me.

LUCKY LANE NUMBER: 5

BEST SCORE TO DATE: 142

CUMULATIVE NUMBER OF STRIKES: 12

Looking back it's easy to see that bowling on a Friday and then moving a bookcase with back trouble can cause a game of bowling on the following Monday to go awry, however my time machine is broken so I hope I'm forgiven.

This week the score is awful, the number of strikes is as round as the ball and the only pride I could take out of Ocean bowl was the fact I beat my children at pool. I narrowly avoided grabbing a handful of mini eggs at one point, such was the frustration at the numbers on the board.

The rest of this week will be spent lying down in pure luxury so that I have a chance to regain some form for next Monday. I will start by getting one of my defeated pool playing children to make me a cup of tea as big as my head.